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Okie Life

Helping fellow Okies navigate financial life.

Financial Compatibility: Have You Found Your Money Match?

August 1, 2023

How many dates should you have before you start discussing the fun stuff? Of course, we’re talking about spending, saving and financial compatibility! πŸ’•

When you’re in the blissful days of the honeymoon stage, it doesn’t sound super appealing to kill the mood with serious and potentially turbulent topics like money habits. BUT, it’s also not something you can avoid forever, and there are healthy and constructive ways to determine how financially compatible you and your partner are.


Some of us may feel more comfortable talking about personal finances in the early stages of a relationship. Have open and honest conversations with your partner about the importance of financial compatibility and determine the right time to discuss it. Hint: This is not a first-date conversation.


Are Your Money Habits Matching Up?

Getting a feel for a new flame can be a game of green, red and beige flags. Whether you’re discussing pets, hobbies, friends, exes or spending habits, there’s nothing wrong with keying into theβœ…do's and🚫don'ts of your ideal “money honey”🐝!

When it comes to financial compatibility, here are a few topics to take some mental notes on:

Do they have any notable habits surrounding money?

  • Are they diligent about savings and recurring payments, or do they frequently need to catch up on bills?
  • What do they spend most of their money on—food, entertainment, luxury items, travel?
  • Money can be a touchy subject, but if they’re averse to discussing it at all, why?
  • Short-term spending habits may also not be as short-term as they seem. If they are intensely frugal or spending big, what’s the context?
  • Do you value spending money on the same things?
  • Does their financial situation align with their spending habits, or are they living outside their means?

What do their long-term goals mean financially?

  • Where do they see themselves in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
  • Are they looking to retire someday, and how concrete are those goals compared to yours? (401k, investments, etc.)
  • Do they want kids? How many?
  • Is it important for them to contribute to the household income? Would they prefer to contribute in other ways?
  • Do they plan to have any family members live with them in the future?
  • Are there any other factors or dynamics that could impact your finances later in life?
  • Do they have an emergency savings? Do they want one?

Some topics might be more challenging than others for people to talk about, but these discussions don’t have to happen all at once. Financial compatibility is just another way you’re getting to know your partner. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Over time, society has created some weird rules about discussing personal finances, but just remember that it’s not rude to ask these kinds of questions when considering a potential life partner. 🀷‍♀️ Also, having these conversations ahead of a lifetime commitment is truly investing in the success of your relationship, and it can save you potential heartache.

Speaking Your Financial Love Language

Most people reading this can probably tell you their love language, but can they effectively communicate their financial needs in a relationship? How do you navigate a conversation if you both have different financial expectations?

Don’t let the fear of disagreement keep you from communicating!


Financial habits are formed over a lifetime, so you and your partner might have different perspectives. It’s ok if you don’t see eye-to-eye on everything. In fact, 64% of people admit to feeling financial incompatibility with their partner.

These differences don’t have to be make-or-break, but you might need to up your communication game to bridge those gaps.πŸŒ‰

Is it Time to Call an Expert?

Talking with your partner can go a long way toward everyday harmony, but what if you can’t find common ground on a bigger issue, such as a shared account or mutual investment?

Finding a professional financial counselor might be the best thing for your relationship in these situations. There’s no one-size-fits-all for these conversations, and you’re not expected to be an expert. A financial counselor can help you identify your individual money habits and develop strategies that work for your relationship.

Putting Money in Its Place, Together

Money drama isn’t anything new, but couples today are redefining the trends and tropes of shared finance in a way that can benefit us all. Financial compatibility comes in many forms, so focus on learning what works for you and remember you have resources that are always Happy to Help!πŸ’˜

The information and topics features are for information purposes only and does not constitute legal, tax or financial advice. All financial situations and circumstances are different and may not apply to the specific information provided. Seek the advice of a financial professional, tax consultant, or legal counsel to obtain guidance specific to your needs.